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“The Pros and Cons of the Doughnut” by Cybidon (that’s me!)
So crazy easy to make.
Taste AMAZING (don’t lie and say you’ve only ever eaten just one, it’s impossible and everyone knows that).
You can wear them on your fingers as rings. Like way better Ring Pops.
They make delicious pool tubes for dolls (assuming you like soggy doughnuts… and play with dolls in the pool).
You can wear one as a monocle. No one will make fun of you. Promise!
Is it “doughnut” or “donut”? This is a constant source of stress in my life.
So sticky it’s not even funny. Stop laughing.
You can never eat just one. (You’re only lying to yourself at this point.)
You cannot use a doughnut as a bullet proof vest. I mean, I haven’t tried this, but surely this counts as a strike?
Terrible Frisbees. Don’t even try it. You’ll only be disappointed.
Sometimes the glaze can drip down into your hard wiring and then you spend the next two hours taking apart your wrist, cleaning the individual robot pieces and then screwing yourself back together.
Don’t waste time worrying about doughnuts. Just make these doughnut muffins instead! They taste like real fancy doughnuts!
from King Arthur Flour
1/4 cup (1/2 stick) unsalted butter, softened
1/4 cup vegetable oil
1/2 cup sugar
1/3 cup brown sugar, packed
2-2/3 cups flour
1-1/2 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
1 tsp nutmeg
3/4 tsp salt
1 cup milk
3 tbsp unsalted butter, melted
3 tbsp cinnamon-sugar*
1. Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Line a muffin tin with baking cups.
2. In a large bowl, cream together butter and vegetable oil. Add sugars. Add eggs, one at a time.
3. In a medium-sized bowl, whisk together flour, baking powder, baking soda, nutmeg, and salt. Add half of the flour mixture to the butter mixture. Stir in milk, then add the remaining flour mixture, mixing until just combined.
4. Fill baking cups 3/4 of the way full. Bake for 15-17 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Transfer to a wire rack to cool slightly.
5. Have two bowls prepared: one with the melted butter, another with the cinnamon-sugar. When muffins have cooled enough to handle, dip tops of muffins into the melted butter, covering as much surface area as you can. Immediately dip the buttered muffin into the cinnamon-sugar. Cool the muffins completely before coring and filling with vanilla pastry cream.
*Good cinnamon-sugar ratio: 1/4 cup white sugar + 1 tbsp cinnamon
Vanilla Pastry Cream
2 tbsp cornstarch
1 cup whole milk
2 egg yolks
6 tbsp sugar
2 tbsp unsalted butter, softened
1 tsp vanilla extract
1. Dissolve cornstarch in 1/4 cup of the milk in a small bowl. Add egg and egg yolks, one at a time.
2. Bring remaining 3/4 cup milk and sugar to a boil in a saucepan, whisking constantly.
3. Whisking the egg mixture constantly, pour 1/3 of the boiling milk mixture into the eggs. Return milk mixture to stove and slowly pour remaining egg mixture into the saucepan, still whisking constantly. Bring to a boil.
4. Remove from heat and stir in butter and vanilla extract. Place a piece of plastic wrap on the surface of the pastry cream so it doesn’t form a skin. Allow to cool to room temperature before piping into cored doughnut muffins.