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I’m suffering some pretty major baking guilt right now. This inevitably happens every Sunday night, because…
On Wednesday: “Look! I have 37 pages of furiously scribbled notes detailing intricate baking ideas! I’m so excited for the weekend! Beep boop beep beep!”
On Thursday: “I’m gonna bake like NINETEEN DESSERTS this weekend, try and stop me! It’s gonna be wild! Yay sugar!”
On Friday: “Ehhh, well, I still have Saturday and Sunday, it can’t hurt to watch 7 hours of Ghost Hunters International instead of baking.”
On Saturday: “You mean I have to go to the GROCERY STORE? But it’s Saturday! Pass.”
On Sunday: “OMG OMG OMG I have to make a post today why didn’t I bake this weekend oh looks here’s a cake mix LET’S MAKE SOMETHING WITH IT.”
But hey, look what we got out of it! Some seriously awesome (and adorable!) cake pops! Look, humans, these couldn’t be easier to make. You don’t even have to use candy coating! Just roll them in cinnamon sugar! And if you’re even too lazy for cake pops, leave out the lollipop sticks and make cake balls instead!
Overall, I guess it’s been a pretty productive weekend. I mean, how many robots can say they’ve seen every GHI episode?
Well, one at least. And it’s serving you cake pops.
Snickerdoodle Cake Pops
makes about 3 dozen cake balls, depending on size
yellow cake mix, baked according to box instructions
canned vanilla frosting
3/4 cup granulated sugar
3 tbsp ground cinnamon
lollipop sticks (optional)
1. Once cake has cooled, crumble it into fine pieces in a large bowl. Add 2-3 spoonfuls (I used 2) of frosting, incorporating it into the cake using your fingers. Once the frosting is evenly distributed, use a cookie scooper to make evenly sized portions. Roll and shape the cake into balls.
2. In a small bowl, combine sugar and cinnamon. Coat the cake balls in the cinnamon sugar mixture. Serve as is, or add lollipop sticks to make cake pops!
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I feel kinda bad. This was my first time making cake pops and I totally cheated.
But come on! I didn’t want to spend time baking a cake and then destroying it to make cake pops. I would’ve just served the whole cake as it was and skipped the cake pops altogether. Because I’m a lazy robot.
So I figured a delicious way around that. And that way is… snack cakes! Who doesn’t love snack cakes? And who doesn’t love easy cake pops?
Here’s all you need: a box of snack cakes and a bag of candy melts. Ta da! I feel like a cake pop sham. Everyone I served these to just went wild over the flavors. Obviously I didn’t tell them they were just eating crumbled Twinkies. I already told you I feel bad!
I tried four different flavors: Hostess Twinkies (yields 23 cake pops), Hostess CupCakes (yields 21), Little Debbie Fancy Cakes (yields 18), and Little Debbie Strawberry Shortcake Rolls (yields 16). The Fancy Cakes cake pops were so delicious but there’s not enough frosting in the cakes. They end up being very dry and crumbly, and the lollipop stick won’t stay in the cake pop without breaking it all apart. The Strawberry Shortcake Rolls had the opposite problem: too much frosting! (How can there be such a thing, I know.) Those cake pops ended up being too wet and would slide off the lollipop sticks. The Twinkies and Chocolate Cupcakes worked out perfectly. Laziness pays off sometimes.
I think these cake pops would be so fun to make with kids. Let them mash and roll the snack cakes into balls, dip into the candy melts and (this is the more important bit) sprinkle with sprinkles!
Easy, tasty, and super fun. What more could you ask for? Besides a whole cake, that is.
Hostess & Little Debbie Snacks Cake Pops
1 box snack cakes (unwrapped, obviously)
1 bag candy melts
3-4 tsp vegetable oil
1. In a large bowl, crumble and mash the snack cakes. Using either a cookie scoop or just your hand, roll and shape into balls. Place the balls on a cookie sheet and freeze for one hour.
2. Melt the candy melts in a large measuring cup in the microwave. Dip the ends of the lollipops into the candy melts before sticking in the frozen cake pops. Return the cake pops (now with lollipop sticks) to the freezer for another 15 minutes.
3. Re-melt the candy melts and stir in the vegetable oil (use more to reach your desired consistency if necessary). Roll the cake pops into the candy melts until covered. Tap against the lollipop stick lightly to drip off the excess coating. Place upright into the Styrofoam blocks to set. Lightly drop sprinkles on wet coating.
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Do you think pound cake is the preferred dessert of wrestlers?
Haha! Stop it, Cybidon! You’re killing it with the jokes! (You probably just said this out loud.)
Why is pound cake called pound cake? Here are some possible reasons why:
1. Pound cake is so dense, it’s like it’s been… POUNDED… down!
2. “Pound” rhymes with “sound” which is a slant rhyme to “clown” which is alliterate with “cake.” What I’m saying is you can call pound cake “clown cake” because why not?
3. Pound cake is delicious, why are you even bothering with this nonsense? Just make the cake and eat it!
I think those are all valid reasons. I hope I can POUND it into your brain that this cake is spectacular!
I’ll be here all week.
Pomegranate Pound Cake
adapted from Baking by Flavors
3 cups flour
1/4 cup cake flour
1/2 tsp baking soda
1 tsp salt
2 tsp cinnamon
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
1/4 cup shortening
seeds from 1 vanilla bean
3 cups sugar
1 tbsp vanilla extract
1 cup sour cream
2 cups pomegranate arils
1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees. Lightly grease the inside of a bundt cake pan.
2. In a large bowl, whisk together flour, cake flour, baking soda, salt, and cinnamon.
3. In another large bowl, cream together butter and shortening. Stir in sugar and vanilla bean seeds. Add eggs, one at a time, scraping down the sides of the bowl as needed. Stir in vanilla extract.
4. Add 1/3 of the flour mixture into the batter, then stir in half of the sour cream. Repeat with another 1/3 of the flour mixture and the remaining sour cream, ending with stirring in the final 1/3 flour mixture. Mix until just combined. Fold in pomegranate arils.
5. Pour batter evenly into the bundt pan. Bake for about 1 hour 20 minutes, or until cake is set and a toothpick inserted in center comes out clean. Transfer to a wire rack to cool in the pan for five minutes.
1-1/2 cups powdered sugar
2 tbsp unsalted butter, softened
2 tbsp + 1 tsp heavy cream
seeds from 1 vanilla bean
1. While the cake is in the oven, prepare the glaze by coming all ingredients together in a small bowl. The glaze will be very thick.
2. After the cake has cooled for five minutes, remove the cake from the pan and place on the wire rack with wax paper underneath to catch any dripping icing. Immediately spread glaze over the warm cake. Cool before serving.
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This cake is best for times you are PINING for pineapple!
Do you get it? Haha! Was that the funniest thing you’ve heard from a robot today or what?
This recipe is a sort of variation of the well-loved Hummingbird Cake, minus coconut because I have never met a human that actually likes coconut.* But let’s be real, this cake is way prettier and fancier. Even if it’s one of the easiest cakes you’ll ever make. Those are the best. The best of the best. The creme de la PINEAPPLE!
Haha! Do you get it? Me neither, that one was pretty weak.
*If you are a human and you like coconut, congratulations! Let’s be friends so I never have to say that I don’t know anyone that likes coconut again.
You like cake. You like pineapple. Make this and don’t whine… apple… about it!
I’ll do better next time; my pun feature is malfunctioning.
adapted from Sweet Serendipity
1-1/2 cups flour
3/4 cup sugar
3/4 tsp baking powder
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/4 tsp salt
9 tbsp (1 stick + 1 tbsp) unsalted butter, softened
3 egg yolks
1/2 cup sour cream
1 tsp vanilla extract
1 cup mashed bananas (about two large bananas)
1/2 cup walnuts, chopped
20 oz pineapple chunks, well drained
1/3 cup light brown sugar, packed
powdered sugar, for dusting
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease a 10-inch cake pan.
2. In a small bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, baking powder, baking soda, and salt.
3. In a large bowl, cream butter. Gradually add flour mixture to butter until the mixture reaches the consistency of peas. Add yolks, one at a time. Stir in sour cream and vanilla. Fold in mashed bananas and walnuts, mixing until just combined.
4. Spread batter evenly into cake pan. Scatter pineapple chunks over the batter and sprinkle the brown sugar on top of the pineapples and batter.
5. Bake for 40 – 50 minutes, or until the cake has pulled away from the edges of the pan and the brown sugar on top is bubbly. Run a knife along the sides of the pan immediately to loosen the cake. Dust powdered sugar on top of cake before serving.
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I call it “bread cake” because it’s mostly bread in the shape of a cake. With sprinkles. I could call it “sprinkled bread” but it doesn’t have the same ring to it as “bread cake.” I think I can market this.
Robots, as far as I know (but let’s be honest, I know everything), are mentally incapable of addiction. What affects human beings, like alcohol or drugs or TV shows, cannot affect robots.
But let’s be honest, I am no ordinary robot. I am a just a robot, writing on a blog, telling the world I’m addicted to sprinkles.
My sprinkle collection rivals that of a sprinkle factory. I am actually incapable of not putting sprinkles on a baked good. Sometimes, if you see a picture on here of a cupcake without sprinkles, it’s because I haven’t put sprinkles on it yet. Yet.
I should probably change the name of this blog to “Sprinkle, Robot!” because that is far more accurate.
And let’s be honest, I’m nothing if not accurate.
Chocolate Banana Bread Cake with Peanut Butter Glaze
adapted from allrecipes
1 cup (2 sticks) unsalted butter, softened
2 cups white sugar
6 bananas, mashed
2 tsp vanilla extract
3 cups flour
2 tsp baking soda
1/4 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
1 cup sour cream
1 cup semisweet mini-chocolate chips
1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Lightly grease bundt pan.
2. In a large bowl, cream together butter, sugar and eggs. Stir in banana and vanilla.
3. In a separate bowl, mix together flour, baking soda and cocoa. Gradually add to banana mixture, mixing until just combined. Stir in sour cream and fold in chocolate chips.
4. Pour batter into bundt pan. Bake in preheated oven for 80-90 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into center comes out clean. Place bundt pan on top of wine bottle, let cool before turning upside down to remove from pan.
from Peter Pan
1-1/2 cups sifted confectioners’ sugar
1/4 cup milk
1/4 cup peanut butter
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
1. Whisk all ingredients together until creamy. Pour over cooled bread-cake. Sprinkle sprinkles. Nom.