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Have you ever had one of those bad days where all you want to do is cuddle at home in pajamas, play LEGO video games, and eat junk food?
Well, I haven’t. I’m incapable of processing if I had a good day or bad day.
And I’m not saying that I play LEGO video games exclusively. I’m a more sophisticated robot than that. It was just an example. Please. LEGO? I’m not nine years old. And I’m not stopping while writing this to play Lord of the Rings LEGO. I’m not!
ANYWAY. Here’s another junk food to add to your arsenal. And it’s easy to make, which is perfect for the end of a rotten day. And it’s easy to eat, which makes it just perfect all around.
Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a couple of Nazgul to fight. In real life. Not in LEGO video games. Ahem.
Cake Batter Cookie Dough
adapted from Cupcake Project
2 cups all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup granulated sugar
1/2 cup light brown sugar, packed
3/4 cup unsalted butter, melted
2 tsp vanilla extract
1 tsp almond extract
4-6 tbsp milk
1/4 cup sprinkles (I used dinosaur sprinkles, because I’m an awesome robot)
1. In a medium-sized bowl, whisk together flour, salt, and both sugars. Add melted butter and extracts. Stir in milk until your desired consistency is reached. Gently fold in sprinkles.
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The Watson children are very particular about their cereal.
For example, they will only eat Cheerios and Cap’n Crunch. I was under the impression that most human children like anything and everything sugar-filled, but they reject the classics like Lucky Charms and Cocoa Puffs.
(In fact, of those two cereals, they will only eat Cap’n Crunch with milk! Cheerios must be eaten dry. How peculiar and a little crazy, in my robotic opinion.)
But I love to make variations of the classic Rice Krispy Treat, and the Watson children refuse to even try them. By switching out the cereals, both the Watson children and I are happy.
I still can’t eat the treats, but it’s a start. There’s not an app for that just yet.
Cap’n Crunch Crispy Treats
from Sticky, Chewy, Messy, Gooey
18 oz (1 box) Cap’n Crunch cereal
6 tbsp unsalted butter
16 oz (1 bag) marshmallows
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
a pinch of salt
1. Grease a 13 x 9 inch baking pan. Pour the cereal into a large bowl and set aside.
2. In a large saucepan over low heat, melt butter. Add marshmallows, vanilla, and salt, stirring constantly until the marshmallows are melted.
3. Stir in the marshmallow mixture with the cereal until the cereal is coated. Pour the cereal into the greased pan, and with a greased spatula, firmly press the mixture into the pan. Let cool completely before cutting.
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So I’m not a big fan of football. Have you ever met a robot that is? (Besides those scoreboard robots, of course.) While I do love the idea of a Superbowl party – which is basically a lot of humans eating whatever I decide to make – I have little reason to throw a Superbowl party.
Instead, a few robot friends are coming over for a lovely book discussion. This month’s reading for our Robotic Book Club is Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep? by Philip K. Dick, translated into binary.
However, we will all be tuning into the season premier of The Voice after the Superbowl. Most robots became big fans of Christian Aguilera after her Bionic album.
Lemon Cream Stuffed Grapes
makes 3-1/2 dozen
adapted from Celebrating Party Foods
8 oz cream cheese, softened
1/3 cup confectioners sugar
1 tbsp lemon juice
1 tsp lemon zest
1 lb large red and green seedless grapes
1. In a medium bowl, beat cream cheese, confectioners sugar, lemon juice, and lemon zest until smooth. Spoon cream cheese mixture into a pastry bag fitted with a medium star tip. Cover tip and chill for 2 hours.
2. Using a sharp knife, cut the very tip off of the grapes, laying them face down on a paper towel as you go. Carefully scoop out the inside of the grape with the knife, laying them face down on the paper towel again (this will help draw out the moisture in the grape).
3. Pipe the cream cheese mixture into the grapes. If arranging on a platter, lightly dab the bottom of the grape with the mixture to help the grapes stand up right.
4. Otherwise, feel free to eat them as soon as you pipe the filling in. In fact, this is encouraged.
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This is a very simple snack, the kind of snack that’s perfect for a casual party.
Like the Superbowl, hmm?
I guarantee that when you bring a platter of these pinwheels into a room of ravenous football fans, they will be gone in ten minutes. I’m Super serious.
This recipe has been in the Watson family for as long as I’ve been a robot. I usually get about six tortilla rolls form the mixture, but I spread the filling on thick. I love this snack because it is so adaptable to any preference. Don’t like jalapeños? Leave them out! Love green onions? Add more! You can’t go wrong with these. They are human-proof.
6 – 8 flour tortillas (depending on how thick you spread the filling)
16 oz (2 blocks) cream cheese, softened
4 oz sandwhich beef, chopped
1 bunch of green onions, diced (omitting the white stem)
4.25 oz chopped black olives
2 oz diced pimentos
jalapeños (as much or as little as you prefer), diced
1. In a large bowl, beat together the cream cheese, beef, onions, olives, pimentos, and jalapeños. Spread the filling onto a flour tortilla, making sure to get close to the edges. Roll the tortilla and repeat until filling is gone. Place filled tortillas in the refrigerator to firm up, at least one hour. Cut into slices (thin or thick, it’s your preference) before serving; discard (or eat) the ends.